Super Farmer

If you are going to be a farmer you have to be able to think fast on your feet and way outside of the box.

I think in all the years that I have been dealing with cows and farmers there is one time when I really appreciated this trait.

My dad, who lived for several years in the back yard in a mobile home, had a great view of the barn lot.  Maybe not what you would advertise in a real estate ad but invaluable to us in keeping an eye on the cattle.  He would sit at the kitchen table and watch the antics of the weanling calves, pregnant mamas, or teen-aged bulls who would rotate through the barn lot.  For a man who always loved to farm but spent his life living in town and running a store, this was as close to heaven as he could get without wings.

It was about noon one day when he called the house.  "You might want to check out the heifers in the barn lot.  You've got one in the feed trough."  Puzzled by why this might be an issue, after all feed troughs were used all over the farm, I wiped my hands and trotted to the fence to see what was troubling him.  I soon came to a shocked stop when I saw what he meant.  We did have a heifer in a feed trough, what he didn't explain is that she was upside down with all four feet sticking up in the air.  The feed trough in question was a homemade affair created by splitting a 50 gallon drum lengthwise and putting it on legs.  Creating two long bowl shaped troughs.  A V-shaped metal hay rack was then welded to the middle so they could be fed both grain and hay. 

It looked like the heifer had been standing on the uphill side, parallel to the barrels when one of her lot-mates bumped her.  The edge of the barrel caught her just below her shoulders and before you could say "Jack Rabbit" she was flipped upside down.  She was now emitting pitiful moans as she waved her feet feebly.  She not only looked ridiculous she was in imminent danger of dying.  Cows aren't designed for that position.  In a short while the gases in her several stomachs were going to start building up and she would bloat.  Shortly after that her heart and lungs would become stressed and she would be one gone heifer. 

I looked around helplessly.  I simply had no idea what to do to get her out.  By now Daddy had made his way to the barn and was assessing the situation.  He came to an immediate conclusion, "Call Bob!"  He was right--this was a job for Super Farmer!  Unfortunately, Super Farmer was at work in his office in town. 

I ran back to the house (no convenient cell phones then) and frantically called the office.  The phone was answered politely by his elderly office "girl".  To my frantic demands for Hubby, she calmly replied that he was across the street having lunch and would be back in 30 minutes.  "You have to go get him!"  I demanded, "It's an emergency!  His heifer will die!"  "Maybe you can call the restaurant" she calmly replied, "I'm alone in the office and someone might call if I leave my desk."  "It doesn't matter.  Just go tell him to come home!  It won't take two minutes! " I begged.  (The restaurant was literally straight across the street.) No luck.

I hung up and frantically called the restaurant.  No answer.  A not uncommon situation during the busy lunch hour when the phone either couldn't be heard or just didn't get answered.  Then I remembered that the office next door was manned by a young farm wife who would understand the seriousness of the situation.  No only that but she worked for a man who was also a cattleman, so he would understand too.  "Angela, I need help." Soon I had explained my problem.  "Got it!" she said and hung up on me.  She dashed across the street and in minutes had hubby on the road home.  (You gotta love small towns!)

Hubby rolled into the barn drive and leaped from the truck. After a quick check of the situation and the heifer, he started issuing commands, while climbing  to the loft and throwing down several bales of hay. When Daddy and I got them to the lot, he placed them by the feed trough.  Then he got a chain and revved up the little tractor.  Hooking the chain through the metal hay rack over the feed trough he used the tractor to pull the whole trough over onto the stacked hay bales which kept it about three feet off the ground.  The heifer rolled out when the trough came over and landed neatly on her feet.  Giving us all a look that plainly said, "What took you so long?", she ambled off.

After shaking Daddy's hand for catching a potential problem and giving me a quick hug, he jumped back in his truck and returned to the office. 

Super Farmer. Didn't even get dirty.