How Quicken Saved My Marriage

It's that time of year again. 

Time for Hubby get ready for taxes.

Each year I would contemplate leaving home, but I never knew exactly when the time would strike.  As it was, I would usually seclude myself in the sewing room or just find an urgent need to go to the grocery.  Then it would go on for days, so that was only a temporary solution.  We would all creep around the house, whispering and tip-toeing because daddy was "doing the taxes".

You see, Hubby is a man who literally thinks in numbers.  They just make sense to him.  So naturally he does the taxes.  He also is scrupulously honest and slightly paranoid, so he keeps every scrap of paper that he thinks the IRS might need if they chose to look.  He also is a totally disorganized bookkeeper and file clerk.

 In fact, his file was a shoe box.

His account book was another box with all of his cancelled checks for the year.

His method for preparing his taxes was to get the two boxes and commandeer the dining room table.  He then would proceed to go through every check and every receipt and put them in piles on the table.  Each pile would represent a deduction, such as vet bills, cattle supplies, fencing, repairs, etc.   When all the scraps of paper were assigned to a pile he would total up each one, creating a list for the accountant to use for filing our taxes. 

By the time he finished he was in deep despondency.

By the time he left the boxes at the accountants, the accountant was in deep despondency.  In fact, he may have been the only one to dread the appearances of the boxes more than me.

Then, in a moment of insanity, I hesitantly suggested that I might be able to help out.  Hubby's look of disbelief spoke volumes.  I do NOT think in numbers.  In fact before the advent of calculators I would be hard pressed to do simple mathematics.  However, I do like computers and all their programs.  I proposed that I would enter all the checks into a new program called Quicken.  Then all we would have to do is print out the resulting lists of checks.  He reluctantly agreed to let me try.

What I didn't realize was that the challenge would be deciphering his system into Quicken's categories.    For example:  Truck gas went into one category for farm use.  Car gas went into another.  Unless, the truck was used for personal use, then it was car gas.  Or if the car was used for farm use then it was truck gas. 

Then there is the problem of figuring out what the check is actually for.  For one thing, Hubby's first grade teacher must have been on leave when they taught writing.  He just has terrible penmanship.  Then he adds cryptic instructions on the memo line.  2B-BM.  Once I quit giggling, I figured out that was 2 bulls to B. Mattingly.  Occasionally, even he couldn't read it and we'd have to do some creative investigating to determine were to categorize the expense.

It hasn't been all smooth sailing but eventually we worked out a system that has allowed us to print a report for the accountant to use (with lots of mark outs, notes, and messages written on it!)

The accountant was so excited he almost cried.