I Hate Pigs

I am an animal lover.  I  love baby ducks, toddling calves, and kittens.  I even get warm fuzzies from petting the old show cows as they come through the barn.  I think the smell of a sweaty horse is pure perfume.  The dogs and cats follow me like the Pied Piper as I go about the farm.  I gush over new calves and dote on the cats.  However, I just can't get all excited about pigs.

I should have taken note of the fact that Hubby earned his spending money by raising feeder pigs when we were dating.  However, they were down at the barn and as a "townie" I wasn't expected to visit the barn much.  I knew they were there and that they smelled, A LOT---but I was young and in love, so I didn't give it much thought.

Then, all of a sudden we were newly-weds living on a farm in Breckinridge Co. and trying to make ends meet.  The next thing I know Hubby has brought home three sows to live with us on the farm.  "Pigs!!" I exclaimed, "You bought three pigs!?"  Smugly he replied, "Do you know what pigs are bringing?  They'll make us good money off their litters.  You just wait and see!"

What I saw was that pigs are smart and a pain in the butt. (plus they smell)

Pig manure is so strong that it soon ate up Hubby's boots, so he had to start wearing rubber boots.  His clothes now stunk up my utility room so they had to be washed immediately (not always convenient).  That, however, was a minor point. 

The biggest problem with pigs is that they are SMART.  Animal Farm had it right--pigs are definitely leaders and thinkers.  The first thing those three sows learned was how to escape from their pens, in the barn.  The second was that dog food was goo-oo-d.  So it seemed that almost daily I would look out my kitchen window and see pigs eating the dog food on the porch.  The dog would be crouched in a corner, tail between his legs, begging for his life!  (even he knew pigs were to be avoided).  Being more than a little scared of them myself, I wasn't about to go out and run them off (sorry dog, you are on your own).   In desperation I would crack the door enough to get a broom through it and whack at the pigs in an attempt to run them off.

 Hubby would eventually come through and laugh at me and herd the pigs back to their pens. "You don't have to be scared of them", he would laugh, "they won't hurt you."  Yeah.  Sure.  I also saw him a few weeks later do a great imitation of Superman, as he flew head-first over the pen fence one leap ahead of a angry mama hog!  Nothing is meaner than a mama hog.

Eventually the babies were raised and the mama pigs were released into a field behind the barn.  To ensure they stayed put Hubby put an electric fence around the lot.  The old sows would stand at the fence and look longingly at the house and the tempting dog food bowl.  They knew that the fence was painful and they couldn't cross it.  I looked back, in scorn and triumph, because they were unable to get to me (and the dog food).

Then I noticed one old sow had started backing up into the middle of the lot.  Step by step she backed away from the fence.  "Aha!  I have finally won!", I thought to myself.  When she reached the middle of the lot, she stopped, and spent a long moment just staring at the fence.  Then with a snort she started running.  With every step she squealed and grunted.  Faster and faster she came, the squeals getting shriller.  I stared in horror as she closed her eyes, squealing piercingly, and ran, headfirst,  into the single strand of electric fence!  The squeals reached a crescendo and then she was through the fence!!

Gradually slowing to a walk, she looked to the window where I watched in amazement, and I swear, she winked! 

Hope the dog didn't mind sharing.