Labor Tales

This has been a bumper year for babies, both farm and friends.  It seems like everyday I hear of another family welcoming a new member.  All these babies have started me thinking about that wondrous process that makes you a mother---labor.  I saw a quote on Facebook this morning that gave me a giggle...."If Motherhood was supposed to be easy, it wouldn't have started with Labor!"

It seems that whenever women are together, especially if one is either pregnant, wants to be pregnant, or has been pregnant, the conversation will turn to their labor and delivery.  Some of the stories I hear could be a really good form of birth control.  These tales of nightmare deliveries would certainly make me reconsider the idea of becoming a mother.  Unfortunately, you usually don't hear these stories until it's too late to back out!

I walked into one of these conversations the other day.  One young woman was telling another, about taking labor classes with her husband and how much help he was going to be.  "He's my coach through the whole process." she proclaimed proudly. "He will tell me when to breathe, when to push, and keep me focused and calm."  I just stared at her.  I couldn't help but wonder to myself, "and he knows what about having a baby!"  The other mother gushed,  "My husband did the same for me.  He was wonderful.  He says I cursed him and fought him, but I didn't.  He just tells people that."  Shaking my head, I wandered on.

My babies were born on the beginning edge of the "lets involve hubby in as much of this process as we can" phase of childbirth.  Before this point hubby spent the hours of labor and delivery either sitting in a waiting room, sharing stories with other dads, or if they were lucky, in a bar sharing stories and a drink.  When the baby was born they declared themselves worn out and went home to bed.  The mothers then stayed in the hospital for a week, pampered by the nurses, with a full staff to care for the baby, while she slept and recovered.  I know, old fashioned, and totally wrong by today's standards but you have to admit it has it's good points!

Forty years ago, we young mothers were just getting on the bandwagon of natural childbirth and all it entailed.  Breast feeding I was all for......hubby in on the delivery, I wasn't so sure of.  I had seen him deliver lots of calves and I was pretty darn sure I didn't want him anywhere near me at that time!  I could just hear him yelling, "Alright!  Let's get those pulling chains and get this little fellow on the ground!"  In the end we compromised,  He would stay through labor, but not the delivery room.  (Trust me the compromise was with my pregnant friends, hubby wanted nothing to do with the delivery!  He liked the sharing stories in the bar idea.)

The time came and we started pestering the doctor about going to the hospital with the first twinge.  He finally got tired of the calls and sent us on to worry the hospital staff instead of him.  We arrived and were escorted to our own private little room, equipped with a television with cable tv.  Pretty nice!  Something to keep the little mama's mind off her pains.  We settled in and hubby grabs the remote and asks, gently, "What do you want to watch?".  "Oh, I don't care.  You pick."  I replied with a squirm.  Which just goes to show that a little pain makes you stupid.    Hubby, ecstatic with the cable, (we didn't have it at home) found a series of ballgames to keep him entertained.  I then endured six hours of nonstop sports.

The nurses would wander in to check our progress and I would clutch their hands and beg, pitifully,  "Is it time yet?"  They would pat my leg sympathetically, and murmur, "Maybe another quarter."

Our son was eventually born and I eventually got control of the remote! 

The bar idea still has its good points.