42 Years and Counting

Today is my 42nd wedding anniversary. Somehow that sounds so old! I remember when my parents had their 25th anniversary and I thought that was forever! Where did the years go? A lot of them were spent making beds ( approximately 26,745 times), cooking meals (45,000 more or less), washing clothes (10,920 loads), Ironing (over 10,000 shirts starched and ironed), and driving to get parts, children, groceries, pets, friends, supplies, etc. about 150,000 miles and 8 cars . In my spare time I've kept records, canned, sewed clothes, painted houses, wallpapered, entertained, decorated, cleaned, and watched football, basketball, baseball, golf, and even soccer and rugby!! Occasionally, I have fenced, worked cattle, fed show heifers, washed pigs, driven tractors, picked up hay bales, mowed yards, planted flower beds, buried pets, and built duck pens. In between I have cuddled kids (and grandkids), laughed a lot and loved enormously.

I haven't done these things alone. I've been lucky enough that we have always worked as a team. Saying that makes me think of a team of mules and that's about right. In a team of mules or horses they seldom pull equally. There are always times when one is caught having to pull the extra weight or load, especially on rough ground. Sometimes, one or the other just doesn't feel up to pulling their full weight, so the other one has to help by pulling just a little harder. In a team effort they each do a little extra to help when it is needed and the load just keeps moving along. If you are watching a team, you never notice this interaction, you just see a strong force doing their job. That's the real meaning of "team work".

It hasn't been all work either. I married a man who loves people. He works hard and is always ready to help another, no matter what the job. However, when he takes a break he likes to have people around. Nothing makes him grin more than the prospect of company and time spent with friends. If he doesn't have friends around he makes friends of the people that are around. Once when we were young marrieds we were dreaming about vacations we would like to take. He stopped the process cold when he announced that the worst thing would be to take this dream vacation with just me! Now, I thought about just killing him on the spot, but the more I thought about it I knew what he was saying. For him, the fun of any trip is the people that you have around you. He wanted to share his fun with his friends, not just his spouse. It really didn't mean that he didn't want me to go, just he liked a party to go along with it. It's an attitude that has kept things lively and fun for many years. We've met lots of people, had lots of fun and shared a lot of laughs!

Now that sounds a little like he is insensitive to my needs. Not at all. There has never been a time that I haven't known that I was cherished and loved. I can honestly say that I have never doubted his love or commitment to me and our marriage. He's not often romantic, in the traditional sense. Soft music and candlelit dinners are not things I associate with him. However, no one can match the romance of taking a ride at twilight in the Ranger and watching the sunset on your land while you watch your cattle peacefully grazing. Then there is the magic of sharing the moment when the cow you have struggled with through a difficult birth, nuzzles the still wet calf, and moans that soft, mama sound that says "hello, little one" in any language. There is the romance of holding hands through a high school graduation, a wedding, a baptism, in the doctor's office, and a hundred other moments when only a touch will suffice. There is the romance of looking across a room and sending the message that I am tired and ready to go home and having him promptly make a move to leave. That's real love.

Did we know what we were getting into 42 years ago? Not in our wildest dreams (or nightmares). Would we do it again--absolutely! Has it been perfect? Ain't nothin' perfect!! But it has has been pretty, darned good!! Good enough that I'm looking forward to the next 25-30 years.